What the Hell

What the Hell

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Exercise in Paradox

I've been having quite a bit of trouble lately with the idea of paradox...ask my therapist.  For most of my life, I have been very comfortable with black and white thinking.  Unfortuntately that is not conducive to healthy relationships with others, and sets one's self up for many disappointments with the world, seeing as how it is full of seeming contradictions and inaccuracies.  Here are a few paradoxes worth pondering:

Having to work doing something you don't like to do things you like.
Giving to receive.
Loving by letting go.
By the time you appreciate something you have it is gone.
Finding joy involving pain.
By the time you realize how little you know it's too late to learn it all.
Loving to travel but wanting to stay home.
The opportunity of change but the loss it brings.
Wanting something forever then you get it and now you don't want it.
God vs. free will.

I can sit here all day and think of more, but you get the idea.  Like I said, I like an orderly universe.  My husband used to drive me crazy by parking just slightly crooked (and not exactly perpendicular to the detached garage as I would do it) on purpose.  I would sit in the passengers seat and scream at him until he straightened the car out.  I hate crooked pictures on the wall, rugs out of place, too many scratched out mistakes on a handwritten note, etc.  So here is my attempt to reprogram my brain concerning this dilemma.  (along with more cognitive behavioral therapy of course.)

I moved the furniture in the main room of our house (it serves as living/dining room/library.  My art studio space is now in a corner of this room too since the old space in the breakfast nook, while very cheery with it's windows, was absolutely freezing most of the year here in the Northwest.  The furniture is now 'askew."  Everything is on an angle, except the bookcases, which are so bulging with books we would be afraid to NOT have those leaning against the wall.  It is similar to what the Old Master painters would do to critique a painting they were working on; they would either cover one eye and look at it that way, or turn it upside down.  It gives you a new perspective.   In my living space, it feels very strange.  I am trying to force myself to accept the asymmetrical and irrational.  It doesn't feel soothing to be sure.  I will let you know how it works....if it works.  Or if it drives me crazy and I have to move everything back. 

P. S.  The cats don't seem to like it.  But cats HATE change.   That's it; I'm a cat! 

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